Young parents feel strain of social media perfection

Parenthood is one of life’s most anticipated stages, but the idea of “perfect parenting” is putting pressure on many parents, particularly young ones. For some, the unrealistic idea of error-proof parenting may even make them question their ability to handle its demands.

Social media, a space where diverse opinions influenced by different cultures and values converge, gives young parents another concern: whether they are doing it “right.”

Recent studies consistently show that the idea of “perfect parenting” can create substantial psychological pressure. Research also suggests that striving for perfection can hinder effective parenting.

Pressure to be perfect

Researchers from The Ohio State University conducted a 2023 national survey of more than 700 parents. They concluded that being a “perfect parent” is unattainable and that the pressure to achieve perfection can harm both parents and children.

Their data revealed that 57% of parents reported experiencing burnout. Parental burnout was strongly linked to internal and external expectations, including perceived judgment from others, maintaining a clean house, and concerns about being “good parents.”

Burnout increases the likelihood of depression, anxiety, and stress in parents. Children may also experience more behavioral and emotional problems.

Multiple peer-reviewed studies confirm that parenting perfectionism—holding impossibly high standards and believing others hold such standards—is a major risk factor for parental burnout. This syndrome includes exhaustion, emotional distancing from children, and loss of parental fulfillment.

A 2024 study by Venard and colleagues, using data from 146 Swiss parent pairs, found that perceived pressure to be a perfect parent was positively associated with overprotection in both mothers and fathers.

Interestingly, this pressure was not linked to parental responsiveness, suggesting it drives maladaptive rather than beneficial involvement.

Mothers reported significantly higher pressure levels than fathers, attributed to the cultural view of mothers as primary caregivers under intensive mothering ideology.

Being a perfect mother is easier said than done

A briefing paper for the Council on Contemporary Families by Sarah Schoppe-Sullivan of The Ohio State University, based on nearly 200 dual-earner couples, found that “parenting perfectionism” is common among mothers. It is associated with lower confidence and feelings of depression.

She noted the irony that “in seeking perfection in parenting, parents are less likely to actually parent effectively.” Perfectionistic worries can undermine confidence, make parenting more stressful, and lead to maternal gatekeeping—correcting or criticizing fathers’ interactions with children. This can push fathers away and increase the burden on mothers.

A 2018 study by Loes Meeussen and Collette Van Laar found that among full-time working mothers in the UK and US, feeling pressure to be a perfect mother was positively associated with parental burnout.

This was linked to parental stress, a stronger prevention focus, and higher levels of maternal gatekeeping. The pressure also affected work-life balance, which in turn reduced career ambitions.

Abbott Nutrition, the nutritional products division of Abbott Laboratories and producer of Similac infant formula, commissioned a survey. It found that 93% of respondents believe parenthood will be life’s most fulfilling part. Yet nearly 80% felt pressure to be the “perfect” parent on social media.

The Similac survey covered 1,002 US adults aged 22 to 32 who are parents or plan to have children within two to three years. Conducted online from March 26 to 31, 2026, by Burson Insights, Data & Intelligence, it had a margin of error of about 3.1%.

Social media’s dual role

The Similac findings show that young parents are not abandoning social media. Many use it for reassurance, information, and connection.

Some 78% said it provides valuable support, while 82% said it helps them feel less alone. However, 81% said it creates an idealized or unrealistic view of parenting.

This gap can make parenting choices feel like a public test. More than half, or 55%, worried about being judged when their choices did not match online standards.

The issue is not that parents believe everything they see. Repeated exposure to curated family images can make those images feel like a standard to meet.

Young parents are confident but seek realistic guidance. The survey challenged the idea that they lack confidence.

Among Gen Z parents, 92% were confident in their parenting ability. Yet 83% preferred creators who shared honest and unfiltered content.

This suggests they want to see parenting as it truly is: messy, unplanned, and full of learning.

Trusted advice comes from offline sources

Social media is part of the support system but has not replaced traditional advice sources.

Doctors and healthcare providers were most trusted, cited by 79%. Parents and family members followed at 76%, while 71% trusted friends who are parents.

This suggests social media works best as one source of connection, not the final word on parenting.

The survey highlights an issue with online parenting culture: the difference between sharing experiences and presenting an ideal others feel pressured to copy.

Similac’s findings sparked a conversation about realistic portrayals of parenthood. Their “Love Without Measure” initiative features unfiltered accounts and encourages parents to share their experiences.